I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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