How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
