Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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