By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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