I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
