Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
