I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
