I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
