google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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