there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
