May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
