He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
