I'm lost and stupid without you.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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