my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
