I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
