We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize