i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
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Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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