i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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