the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
