You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
