dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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