If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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