...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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