By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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