this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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