A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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