he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
