We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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