bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
