Who wears a wallet chain?!
i love accidental penises.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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