I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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