the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
