I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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