I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
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