For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dick very happy bro
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
