I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
