Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have aggressive nipples.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
