so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
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i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
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I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize