There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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