who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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