she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
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There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
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Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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