I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize