I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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