i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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