Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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