Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize