i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
you never un-have a 4some
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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