i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
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Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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