Duck Duck Cougar?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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