in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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