There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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