So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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