Sponge bath it is.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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