Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
