Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
