dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
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I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
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So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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