Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
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What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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